Monday, May 3, 2010

Fantastic Finds... Act now!

This one is dedicated to all you avid online shoppers! I found some real treasures, but you better act now these finds won't last long!











MMMM I'm salivating now thinking about all of the scrumptious creations that I could make with this dried out lump of powdered government cheese.  I wonder if it comes with the bag and memory card too. Someone better jump on this before I do!












Next up on the auction block... a giraffe shaped cheeto (with AMAZING detail) Don't miss this once in a lifetime opportunity to eat a Giraffe!!! I didn't realize there was such a large demand for aftermarket processed cheese snacks!

 
 
 
 
 

 
Few things compare to the thrill of farts in a bottle!! As if pre-pubescent middle schoolers that haven't worked deodorant into their daily routine yet, don't smell bad enough as it is, lets give them shit in a bottle!! Great for birthday parties, and bar mitzvahs. Act now, and the seller will throw in a free cell phone antenna booster, that's a deal you just can't pass up!




Don't miss out on this possessed doll for the Chuckie fan in your family! Oh how I wish they would post the sellers pictures.  I'm sure this one is a real gem!
Continuation...






And now for our big ticket item of the day.....





USED BREAST IMPLANTS!!! Nothing says I love you better than buying your lady love used breast implants!  WTF?!?!?!? "Honey not only are your tits not good enough, but I'm too cheap to buy you new ones." Then this fuck goes on to try and pitch the sale by saying how hot his girlfriend was when she had them.  JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!! This sick bastard probably cut them out of her chest before he ran her through the mulcher and fertilized his lawn with her shreds.  Does he honestly think that this little authenticity card makes selling something like this legitimate?!?!?   Congratulations, shit bag, you and you alone are responsible for the decay of American society.




Rest of the ad....




And by popular demand... another edition of...

*Ode to Troop 841*
*The ghosts of Camp O Fairwinds* I remember two fateful trips to camp in which we made contact with the other side.  I believe it was a our first camping trip that I wrote about in my last post, that we had a ghost haunting a bath room stall.  The door would mysteriously swing back and forth making a piercing squeal.  Of course, the only logical reasoning for this phenomena was a ghost with diarrhea.  It didn't have anything to do with the fact that we were staying in a cabin that was 80 years old with rickety hinges on the doors... nope that would be too easy.  If we were really resourceful instead of holding a seance we would have just left him some Imodium on the sink and called it good.  On another trip, when we were a little older, a ghost (possibly the same gastrointestinally challenged one from the first cabin) made an ominous carving in the wall.... I believe it read "get out".... apparently he needs to poop in peace. This time our paranormal friend caused chaos of epic proportions.  Not only we were sure that we were going to be slaughtered and later the subject of a lifetime movie, but even worse.... if we survived.... OUR TRIP TO GEORGIA WOULD BE CANCELLED!!!! Our leaders were convinced that one of us girls were the guilty party (They weren't in the know about the ghosts), and while we were taken into the interrogation room one by one, we were told that we would owe the camp thousands of dollars to fix a piece of wood about 3in X 5 in, thus costing us our trip to the birth place of girl scouts, and we bought it.  By the end of the day we were all crying while making grilled cheeses on our home made coffee can bunson burners. Kerry Daly later confessed to the carving (although I'm sure it was the spirits acting through her) and if I recall we were out about $10.00 to fix the carving.


Just for you Kimmay...:)


Stay classy cyber space!

1 comment:

  1. Yeah I remember that one....utter terror in you girls...You guys were in the room Upstairs....CREEPY!!!!!Mom

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