Drivers: I don't know if they started handing out stupid pills at the Secretary of State or what but everyday on my way to work, I can't help but wonder, HOW DID YOU FUCKS GET DRIVERS LICENSES?!?!?! Green means go, Red means stop, yellow means slooooow down. LANE ENDS IN 3/4 of a MILE, MEANS IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR ASS OVER YOU'RE GOING TO MEET THE CONCRETE WALL!!!!!!! This one really gets me. I drive 75 everyday and at Joslyn rd it goes from 4 lanes to 3, and seeing as how I pass the same turds everyday on my way to and from work, I know that they are well aware that this lane ends. And on the off chance that there are some out of towners on 75 during rush hour, the D-O-T has provided you with a bright yellow sign that says LANE ENDS 3/4 OF A MILE. That's your clue to USE YOUR TURN SIGNAL AND GET OVER. But noooo, inevitably there are at least ten cars that are either oblivious to this, or the assholes that think they can race all the way to the end of the lane and then cut someone off. REALLY?!?!? Do you think you're going to get home any quicker by passing those last 5 cars????????????? Since most of the assholes appear to be pompous business men in their BMW's, I have to assume that they're racing home to catch their desperate house wives sleeping with someone else. I would be banging someone else if I was married to such a miserable dick too!
The Tea Party/ Politicians in General: No I'm not talking about plastic cups, with invisible tea that you drank when you were 5. I'm referring to these conservative extremists that are causing trouble everywhere. I'm all about expressing your beliefs, and frankly I don't consider myself liberal or conservative, because I think it's going to take bipartisan action to solve our problems. So, the bitch that I have with these buffoons isn't what they stand for, because quite frankly I couldn't figure out exactly what that is. The problem is that they have taken everything so far right that they just sound allllll wrong. I scoured their website and all I could find was a bunch of articles bashing everything Obama does, and a very vague mission statement. Don't sit here and criticize when you have provided no alternative solutions. The answer isn't right or left or who's wrong or who is right. If every one would quit fucking worrying about who is slipping money in their back pocket and just do what it best for our country, we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. Quite frankly, no ONE person can be blamed, it took us a long time to get into this mess, and it's going to take us even longer to get out. Quit playing the blame game, this isn't the playground.
I did find this little gem on their website though:
Stop Them Welfare Moms
Gun Rights by frogfucker
Them welfare socialist mom race-baiting bitches should get off aid. My family supported me through my Down Syndrome without rezorting to welfare. The tea baggers support what I think is right. I hate Keith Olberman. MSNBC is a bunch of commanists. Gun rights forever!
Very classy and well written. The fact of the matter is, most of us will fall on hard times at some point or another. If you have family that can help you, great, not all of us do. If you can honestly say that you wouldn't accept assitance when you're in need then, more power to you, but I have a feeling those people are few and far between. So everyone shut your suck hole about welfare, yes it needs reform, but you never know when you might need it.
Rich Rod: Ok ok... I know that football season has been over for a while now.... but I'm still bitter that this fuck was able to flush the greatest college football program in the country straight down the shitter in a matter of two seasons. Way to get a quarter back that weighs 130 lbs soaking wet, and tell him to go out and run the ball.... that's like entering your Geo metro in a demolition derby. Oh and the defense....wait... there isn't one... moving on..... Quite honestly I can't think of anyone that would disagree with me in saying that this guy should be burned at the stake... ok maybe that's harsh... a public stoning would suffice. In case there are any Bitch Rod supporters out there, here are some stats for you.......
Really I don't think I need to go any further, but in case you still aren't convinced that this guy is a top notch dumb fuck... here are some brilliant quotes:
· "We're not good enough to play poorly and win," Rodriguez said. "We're not right now. Maybe in the future we will be."
--Sep 14, 2008 MLive.com
*Way to strive for mediocrity! Do you bang your wife when you're half asleep and then when she doesn't go, assure her that one day you'll be good enough to make her cum in your sleep? *
“If it was a lack of effort, I'd be really mad," Rodriguez said. "But I assure you, I will NEVER stand in front of you after a loss and not be mad. I'm very disappointed in how we played. It starts with the coaching… “
--Oct 7, 2008 Joliet Herald News
*Well.... at least you know YOU SUCK!*
"If there was a hole to crawl into, a bunch of us, including myself, would want to crawl in that hole," Rodriguez said.
--Sep 27, 2008 ESPN
*If by hole you mean, the unemployment line, then yes, please, crawl in.*
LeBron James: Given my persistent rants on Facebook, you had to have seen this one coming. I have so many issues with the self proclaimed "King" and the circus surrounding his free agency, that quite frankly I don't even know where to begin. In fact, it made me so angry that I got into a fight with Josh at a restaurant for merely mentioning it. I can feel my body temperature rising as I type. First of, you named yourself the "King" putting you in same category as Elvis, Michael Jackson, and in the world of sports, Michael Jordan. First of all LEBRON, you've been in the league 7 years, Michael Jordan- 17 years. You've got the fucking balls to compare yourself to someone that has 10 years on you? Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself there guy????? Secondly, I've never had the displeasure of witnessing someone with a bigger sense of self importance than you. Who told you that anyone outside of Cleveland, or the other desperate teams that tried making an offer, GAVE A FLYING FUCK WHERE YOU SIGNED?!?!? To be honest, if Joe D even mentioned bringing you to Detroit, I would have left a flaming bag of poo on his door step with your name on it. If I owned a team, I wouldn't pay you two fucking nickels to play for me. No championship is worth dealing with a whiny, arrogant, choke artist such as yourself. You talk such a big game, but you've yet to come through. You deserved every word of that scathing letter that Dan Gilbert wrote. I hope you enjoyed your 15 minutes of fame, because you shot your career straight in the ass. You played this up so much, and then you bitched out. You went somewhere that you think will guarantee you a championship. You would have gotten more respect staying with the Cavs and losing AGAIN, then you will if you win with The Heat. The fact of the matter is, you know you're not a Kobe or Jordan that can carry a team. You need back up. I'd also like to give a big fuck you out to all of the media that help perpetuate this dog a pony show. GET A LIFE FOLKS!!! They are still talking about this shit! I listen to 97.1 the ticket on my way home and inevitably some fuck will call in and say something along the lines of "Hey Mike and Terry, love your show, I'd like to weigh in on the LeBron situation...." I'D LIKE YOU TO DRIVE STRAIGHT OFF A DAMN CLIFF!!!!!! We have oil spewing into our ocean, the economy is still shit, we're fighting two wars, and yet, every TV and radio station was Lebron this and Lebron that............ and we wonder why our country is going to hell in a hand basket. The President even found it necessary to chip in his two cents on the situation......if you think LeBron is that great, why don't you ask him if he can build a cap for that oil well?!?!? Ok I think I have to stop now....A) it's late and B) I'm mumbling obscenities to myself, which is a sure sign that I'm in a dangerous state of anger.
Stay classy cyber space!
