Random photos brought to you via my crappy blackberry camera!

Tonight, Josh Julian and I went cruising down Woodward.  The weather was perfect, and surprisingly there were lots of cars out for it being this early in the year.  The highlight of my night besides smoking the tires off the TA, were these tender little morsels below. 

Exhibit A:

If you're really in a quandary about what to get mom for mother's day this year, have no fear, I've got your solution!  For the bargain price of $20 you can get your Mom washed 7 times!!!! Nothing says I love you like a good scrub and wax job.  It's even soft cloth towel dry for her pleasure.  I'm also told they will send her out with a free pine scented air freshener around her neck for no extra charge! That way your mom can smell like a freshly cut Christmas tree for weeks to come! Ok so maybe I let my imagination run with this one... buuuut... honestly what mother wants car washes for mothers day?!?! Dear Mom, Thank you for wiping my ass, cleaning up my puke, feeding me, helping with my home work, cleaning the skid marks out of my underwear, putting up with my obnoxious friends, understanding the first time I came home drunk and yacked in your flower bed, have a free car wash for your troubles! GET REAL TURDS! If any one of you get your mom this for mother's day you better start searching for an adoptive family because she will never forgive you, and rightfully so!

Exhibit B:

 If you're looking for the true one stop shop experience look no further than the dairy dream folks! You can get a thermal massage while your copies are being made, and then pick up a sack of coney's for the family on your way out.  However, I do have to caution you against eating the coney's and then getting the massage.  We all know what happens when we eat coney's, and you might get just a little too relaxed while you're getting that massage.  You wouldn't want to leave a stain on that nice white towel they cover your butt with now would you???

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm not getting a massage at the same place I can also buy processed meat in a tube... but hey that's just me!

 And now for my favorite find of the evening.........

Exhibit C:

The slightly pregnant resale clothing shop... Hmmm... I had to chew on this one for a while.  Slightly pregnant aye??? Is this for people who just couldn't get it out in time, and the sperm hasn't quite made it to the egg yet???  It will get there eventually but it just hasn't found the Holy Grail ? Or is it for people that went to get plan B after a long night of drinking and they aren't sure if it's worked yet?  Might want to visit this place just in case the patented morning after pill is an epic failure.
Or is it for those unfortunate people that look pregnant but really aren't? You all know the ones I'm talking about... you see them and immediately wonder if they are pregnant or if they just enjoy the freedom of an elastic waistband.  None of these theories really worked for me so I had to draw the conclusion that the owner of this store is just A COMPLETE AND TOTAL KNOB JOB!!!! Give me an f-in break!!!! You cannot be slightly pregnant.  EITHER YOUR GARDEN HAS BEEN FERTILIZED OR IT HASN'T! The owner of this store is quite obviously a man, similar to Steve Carrell's character in the 40 year old virgin I would presume.  Someone take this tard ass to the free clinic and get him a brochure PUUUHLEASE!

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE OWNER OF SLIGHTLY PREGNANT YOU'VE JUST BEEN NAMED MORON OF THE MILLENNIUM!

That's all I've got for tonight.  Tomorrow is soccer practice and if were lucky the gem from my first post will be sporting something absolutely atrocious for me to tear apart.

Sweet Dreams...

Stay classy cyber space!